Home.

Yes people, finally made it back to Singapore. Alive. Damn you Nick, for cursing my plane to crash like in the movie 'Final Destination'. Grr.

It's hot. Very hot. I think I'm gonna have to shower like 3-5 times a day! Good thing is, met up with my brother and some other close buddies after I suprised them at their schools. The plan was to let them know I'm coming back on Saturday, so they would not expect me during the week. So I made a trip to their schools and gave them a 'shock' of their lives. Well, it wasn't what I had expected. But it was all good. Seeing them again was awesome.

The only downside in coming to Singapore is knowing for a fact that I won't be going back to Perth next year. Damn my National Service! Sheesh! 2 YEARS!! Hmm.. other one would be being unable to meet up with a certain someone. Can't seem to contact her and can't seem to find a day when she's free to go out with me. Sigh. Is she avoiding me? Maybe.. guess I'll have to find out.

Gonna start my recording with Sean. We plan to perform some songs and compile them into a CD or something. Hope I can sing and play the piano at the same time. Probably get him to just play the guitar, then maybe I can just sit back and sing. Ha.

Miss everyone in Perth. Miss the life. Miss the friends. Thanks Cheeky, Liong, Derek, Dayong and Raymond for sending me off at the airport. It was really nice of you guys. Pity could not see Tim, Junya, Jay and Josh for the last time. Didn't do a very proper goodbye the previous night. Sigh. TK, hope I can go to Penang and meet up with you. To the rest from Kuching, see you when I get there. Can't wait! My sentences are getting weirder and weirder. Must be the weather. *sizzle* my brain is frying!

Peace out.

Ryan a.k.a predx

Yes? No?

I can't let go.
I think I won't.
I don't know.
Maybe I should?
Maybe not?
I'm sure I won't.

Broken Heart.

~

All that I've put in.

All that I've sacrificed.

All that I've done.

All for nothing.

Nothing.

What a failure.

What a mistake.

What a tragedy.

What a loser.

What a fool.

Doomed.

~

My heart. Broken. Empty.

My soul. Withered. Dead.

~

I'd be better off dead.

This is ridiculous.

What did I do?

I need to know.

Please make this stop.
~

More Birthdays and events..

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY

LIONG, CHEEKY/PLAYBOY (5 Nov) AND CRYSTAL (6 Nov)!!

The Birthday Boys! Caked!

Nice! Smooch him Nick, smooch him! Haha!

Aww, ain't that sweet! They're trying to cut each others' *a-hem*..

Boys in the hood. (L-R, DaYong, Liong, Cheeky, Me, Henry, Derek, TK and Lionel)

The Birthday Princess! Happy birthday Crystal!

During the exams, it was Junya's birthday. Thanks to exam stress, I almost forgot.

Gonna miss you Junya.

Me and my good pal, Junya!

After the exams, we were free from hell. However, some people had too much fun in the form of iceskating. And in the process, he lost a tooth. Ouch! Feel so sorry for you TK.

After all that, he can still smile like this. Salute!

And that's his little gadget of his.

And to mark the end of our year at Canning College, we decided to have one last BBQ before Chee Rong and Kelvin left for their home country. After eating, we incinerated most of our worksheets and notes for the entire year. Awesome. Well, not exactly, cuz I think we destroyed an entire forrest that night. Oh no! Global Warming!

Gather round people! Oh, btw, Chee Rong went high and emptied an entire bottle of garlic onto the mushrooms. Ha!

Yay! A whole stack of Physics test papers that I failed so badly! BURN!!

Commerce in 2007? ... Nah!!


Me and Cheeky looking flustered after all that smoke we inhaled. Well, I was drinking too.

Happy Birthday Yee Teng! Officially 18!

Goodbye Chee Rong, Kelvin and Edwin. Miss you guys. Sigh.

Miss the times we had. Sadly, I won't be coming back next year.

Sigh.

Over and out.

Ryan a.k.a predx

Goodbyes..

As the days go by, more and more of my friends are leaving Perth for their home countries. One by one they disappear, and it pains me so. Chee Rong, Kelvin and Edwin went home this morning and I almost cried. Seriously. At least I managed to control myself. Sigh. Next one to leave would be Lionel, then Yee Teng, William, Madeleine, Eline, Karen, Brandon and May. This is so saddening. Plus, I gotta go to Sydney on Monday morning for 3 days to look after my cousins and meet up with my aunt and sisters. During these 3 days, a few of them will be leaving, and I want to spend the last few days in Perth with them. There's still so much to do, and say. I still haven't told her, but it will be soon.

When I leave Perth on the 28th of November, I will have to leave behind other friends as well. Friends that have made an impact on my life in Perth. These people are, Jay, Tim, Junya, Raymond, Josh, Shelina and others who aren't leaving for their home countries just yet. All my friends from Kuching will still be missed, although I will be making a trip to Kuching at the start of next year. I'm really looking forward to that. I'm also praying that my parents will be willing enough to allow me to defer my National Service next year and continue my studies in Perth, where all my friends are. I also hope that that particular person will be able to come back and continue her studies in Perth. I really do.

Thanks everyone. I'll miss all of you so dearly. The moments we've all spent this year will forever be in my memories... and in my heart. I'll make a video soon and it will be dedicated to the memories of our friendship that will last forever. Hope I don't cry myself to sleep again tonight.

Days passing by..

Hey peeps.. I think this is another one of my emo posts .. again. I can't seem to decide when to pop the question. Erm, that sounded kinda wrong, like I'm getting married or something. But, you get the point. When and How? I fear rejection, I fear the things she might say, or will say. I seem to have guessed her answer already, and sadly it's a NO. Hmm.. I think I've done something wrong. Maybe blogging about this isn't a very smart thing to do. Or was it something I said wrong? My interpretation of your actions are quite inaccurate sometimes, so I apologise for doing that. Anything else? I guess I gotta ask you this when I tell you all my feelings.

Sigh. Oh, and before I forget, TK had an unfortunate incident. While ice-skating with some friends, he somehow slipped and fell face flat on the ice. Ouch. That's not the only thing that happened. When I saw him, I was lost for words. One of his teeth was missing, and when he gave me that silly grin of his, I almost felt the pain he went through. Argh.. that's one of the reasons I never want to touch ice-skating or rollerblading ever again. The other one would be breaking my ankle and having to end up on crutches for more than a month. I feel really sorry for him. ouch!

Last night we had a BBQ at TK's place, and that was when I found out bout his missing tooth. We had tons of beef and sausages thanks to a very generous Lionel, who insisted that we didn't have to pay him back. After the BBQ, we gathered all (well, most of) our notes and worksheets from our year at Canning College and set them on fire. Yeap, we just destroyed an entire acre of forrest, sad to say. After all the burning and bbq-ing, I smelt like smoke. Not nice. We even had choir sessions after dinner as we all gathered round the piano and sang love songs and christmas carols. A bit too early I guess. We ended up camping out in TK's room, with Madeleine stuck to her Korean drama series and the rest just lazing around. Well, it was a late night for all of us and we ended up sleeping at four-ish in the morning. Madeleine claimed to have slept at 6.30am after a whole night of Korean drama watching. That's what Korean drama does to you. You'll get addicted. Trust me.

Our beach plan for today was canceled? Again? Well, according to Lionel they continued with the plan as most of them were in the city, but I didn't join them as I was stuck in Derek's place and could not go anywhere due to lack of cash. Sigh. Badminton tonight? Well, I guess I need a work out. Feel like venting some of my frustration out, hopefully kick some ass in the process. Oh, and it's Yee Teng's birthday party tonight and it's held at her boyfriend's place. Probably drop by and wish a happy birthday. Incase I don't get to wish her, HAPPY 18TH YEE TENG! Enjoy yourself!

Oh, great! Now I'm late for badminton. Gotta get ready then. Laters

Ryan a.k.a predx

Finally..

EXAMS ARE OVER! What a relief! I sat for my last paper yesterday (accounting) at 2, and when I walked out of the examination room, I felt like I could finally breathe easy again. Well, I guess not.

It's that feeling haunting me again. The feeling of her avoiding and rejecting me. I thought I could finally be happy after the exams are over, but I feel really empty right now. Not only is she avoiding me, she's not even giving a damn about me... as usual. Well, someone gave me this really good advice...

"No matter what her choice is, it's all gonna be good. At least you'll get an answer and that all your love and effort will not go to waste. It will only add to another chapter of your life and memories, and it can never be bad. All you can do now is cheer up and just give your best shot."

I wanna thank this person for encouraging me in my quest to tell her my feelings. It has given me a new way to tackle the problems troubling me now. But, still, it is not that easy. She used to include me in most of her plans, and without fail I would know bout it sooner or later. Now, it's not like that at all. She does not tell me about anything, or even reply my messages at all. Sigh. Was it something I said or did wrong? This I gotta find out. I'm feeling really empty right now, like there's no meaning to live anymore.

Another someone made me boil yesterday, and I didn't like one bit of what he did. Mocking me like that, and making me feel like a total loser is not what I expected from you. I thought you understood how I would feel. Well, so what are you trying to imply? That I should have a taste of whatever you've gone through? I know what advice I gave you last time, but don't turn around and snap back at me espiecially with that bitchy tone. Think about it.

Someone.

Please.

End this torment.

Ryan a.k.a predx

Pleasing You..

Up late at night,
Figuring out what would please you,
Looking for a piece of mind ,
I try just to stand still.

Gathering thoughts of us together,
Searching memories for the desired,
I stare into the sky,
Smiling as I see my way.

Full of confidence I go,
To get something to please you,
Always hoping to put a smile on you,
On that special day.

Finally I went bringing with me nothing at all,
Just my heart,
Along with the courage to say a phrase,
A phrase so hard to say,

...

I LOVE You.


(inspired by Derek's poem)

Done.

Hey everyone! Halloween post finally up! Sry for the long wait.. it was the exams. Last paper on Wednesday, wish me luck in studying!

International Students' Graduation 2006

A night to remember.

A night of fun and laughter.

A night of friendship.

A night of brotherhood.

A night to remember.

The Band Of Brothers.

(L-R, Cheeky, Me, Kai, Brandon, Raymond, Tim, Fabian & Liong)

The outfit that burned a hole in my wallet. Not very impressive yea?

All ready to set off.

Me and May. Waiting for the damned taxis!

We look shabby! Haha.. don't worry peeps.. that's only apple juice!

Shaun ma man! Wassup..

Gents of the night. We look good! Ha!

Yo! It's Chee Rong! My buddy from Brunei!

Smile guys! (L-R, Kelvin, Manembo & Samuel)

Some people think they are so tall... or maybe they really are?

Me and Karen! The girl with a big heart and a big SMILE!

That's Lyn, our ELACS teacher.

Amelia, the girl with the voice of an Angel!

Me and Brandon a.k.a BOSS! Thx fer everything!

Cheers to eternal friendship! YAAAAAAAM...SEEEEEEENNGG!!!

The pathetic dish that we came here for. Lionel can do much better.

Their practice paid off... great job girls!

This is Edwin a.k.a Reccuso. The DotA addict.

Me and Adrian.

Jenny, bubbly girl from China.

Amalina and Me. Gonna miss accounting lessons with you and Arvin!

Whoa.. girls!

That's how desperate one can get if no one wants to take a picture with you.

Hahaha! It's Cheeky/Playboy again! Erm.. don't get it wrong.. we're straight!

Lick this! This is thanks to some camera trick from our cam man Liong.

Me and Tim, one of my closest buddies in Perth.

Erm.. Tim.. control yourself you desperate fool!!!

The 3 Muskateers! Rifai, Me & Jay...

The pimps, Shaun and Tim, with the player, Arvin.

Me and Rynetta/DeXin. Nice dress!

Aww.. poor diddums! You can continue starving Tim!

Some people are just too busy eating to join in the photo taking.

Nathan and Tim getting cuddly.

That's Jay Lee/Jelly for you! Jay, Gay, YAY!

Me and my buddy Nathan! Rock on emo kid!

The Canning Badminton Team! (Chin Howe, Me, Eric and Edwin infront)

The trio! Me, Chee Rong and Liong. Had fun shopping with you guys! Ha!

Me and Lionel, the lamomok.

Me, Tim and Rifai looking like pimps!

Another crappy dish. Sigh..

Woot! Graduated! Can't wipe that grin off my face!

The smart people. The REALLY really smart people.

Handsome boys and Pretty girls taking one last group pic.

Had fun didn't we?

That's not all that happened during our graduation dinner. You can check out Lionel's post... if you want.
Sadly TEE students could not join us. It would have been a heck load of fun if they'd tagged along.

Enjoy!

Ryan a.k.a predx