Today was a bad day. What else can I say? I slept at 8 this morning, and woke up at 1230 to drag myself to iceskating. The wierd thing is, I did not even ice skate. This is all thanks to the dreadful incident that caused me to fracture my ankle when I was on rollerblades. The phobia cannot be fought against, I guess I gotta live with it. Even badminton was a waste of time. I played my worst tonight and it does not feel good. Not good at all.
It was made worse due to other "stuff" that happened. I did not like what I saw and certainly did not like what I heard. Avoiding me is one thing, but keeping something from me is another. I may not know the truth about anything, but I am certain of one thing - the way you treat me like thrash and the fact that you don't even LOOK at me hurts me to the core. I felt used, tricked, fooled into thinking something, and of course the feeling of getting lied to. One moment we are having a great time talking or just being together, and the next you discard me like some unwanted person. Is this all a lie? The way you treat me, is it a lie? I really need to know, cuz I DON'T FCKIN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DO THIS! I thought you knew how I feel about you. Well not exactly, cuz I haven't plucked up the courage to even tell it to you. There is only one reason why I haven't told you yet. This reason would be the fact that I don't want this to upset our current friendship. My efforts already seem to be tearing this friendship apart, so what would exactly happen if I told you my feelings towards you? Would you avoid me forever? Can we still be friends like before? Right now I really feel like giving up. Anyone, PLS SHOOT ME AND END THIS! You are the reason why I die a little more inside everytime you walk away or shun me to one side.
I want to apologise to the people I went out with today. I was tired due to lack of sleep and tired of trying to win someone's heart. Hope you guys still had a great time. Everyone was laughing and poking fun at people who fell during skating. It was good to see that, but not good to see those people hurt themselves. Maybe next time we can do something fun again. I hope...
Laters..
Ryan a.k.a predx
3 comments:
You fall, you stand up again.
I know what I'm going to say now will be hard to act on and accept, but it's time to pluck up your balls and do what a man should do. Let none of these affect you, dude. Think about it. How much more do you want to let this trouble you? I wouldn't want my friend to be down all the time.
For fuck's sake, nothing will go wrong. What's wrong with a guy confessing his feelings to a girl? Let's not delay any longer. Life is short, exams are near. You'll feel heaps better, trust me.
Pardon my choice of words. In the end, it's still entirely up to you. Just my two cents.
sigh. thx raymond. its hard.. you have know idea man. its kinda crazy n messed up. in a way.
don't think i'll tell jus yet.. i've waited so long, i can wait longer. the time will come. jus don't want to get hurt badly that's all.
hihi
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